This time last year I was avidly following a blog about a baby boy named Samuel that I came across through some friends. He was born with many complications. I prayed for this child and his family (who are pastors at a church down the hill). After many days of praying and reading their story, baby Samuel died at the tender age of 19 days old. I continued to follow for another week or so after his passing. Then as life goes, I got busy and forgot about it all.
The other day, I don't really remember how, but the Lord brought this family to mind again. I then began to wonder what life was like for them now. Little did I know that it was at the year mark of the baby's passing. The Lord has reminded me of them several times since so that I would pray for them. I can not imagine the pain of losing a child and then having to carry on for your other children. I decided to find their blog again to see how they were doing. As I was reading their current blogs (http://nineteen-days.com/) the Lord spoke to me through something they shared in it. This is what follows:
A verse that hits me at this moment is Mark 9.30. I know I have recently wrote about this, but let me say it again, “They went on from there and passed through Galilee. And he did not want anyone to know, for he was teaching his disciples…” He was teaching them the most profound reality and purpose of His life; that of His death and resurrection so as to overcome our sin. I just can’t get away from something, however, as it struck me last night and it seems to attack me right now.
Jesus is glorious; He is not only the Son of God, but God as well. He is the second member of the trinity, the High and Holy voice that spoke creation into being. And here He is walking along hidden paths or places where most people would not frequent. He wanted to pour into His disciples; He wanted to be intimate with them and actually disciple them. Throughout the course of the life of Christ, we see miracle after miracle proclaiming the glorious reality of the Kingdom of Heaven in the person of Jesus Christ. Heaven came down in flesh, and fulfilled what we could not.
But Christ, as He encountered need and healed lives, knew the greatest need was not healing of our physical bodies, but our spiritual lives; reconciling us to the Father. He never needed to perform those miracles; the people did. There was an inherent need in them for Christ to “prove” Himself to them, but He alone is testimony enough of His glorious truth. He did not need to prove Himself. He did not need to perform miracles. He does not need to do anything; God is completely whole and satisfied in Himself. We are the ones who need Christ. We are the ones who need to be discipled. We are the ones who need healing. We are the ones who need His precious resources of strength. We are the ones who need the cross. We are the ones who need the truth of the resurrection. We are the ones who need His act to efficaciously grant us mercy and forgiveness. We need the miracles. We need the love. We need the mercy. We need everything that is Christ.
I am speaking to myself. Let me be reminded of this. I am the one who is desperately needing Jesus Christ to intervene in my life at this present moment. I need Him; He does not need me, and He does not need us.
HOWEVER
Knowing how much we need, Christ out of love did the impossible. Hebrews 12.2-3, “Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” When I say He did the impossible, I mean He impossibly loved us. He loved those who hated Him. He loved those who needed Him so desperately without even knowing it.
It is the love of Christ that I see in all of this. I am humbled; I need it so much. I can’t search for it in any other way, only at His feet and in His word. The reality is that Christ, through the Holy Spirit, beckons us to abide in Him intimately. We are called into a glorious relationship with Jesus Christ; not a religiosity, but a relationship. I need this right now. I need His love and His compassion. Please Lord, forgive me that I ever presume upon you. I need you Jesus. You are my hiding place and my refuge from this storm.
2 Corinthians 2.8-9, “For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” Even Paul despaired even of life, to be shown that it was not about him or his strength, but the Lord’s.
“Yet, though He doesn’t ‘need us’, isn’t the truth of Christmas that He so loves us He came for us, He wants us, not out of need, but out of love? That’s what’s so amazing He wants us with a love so strong that He created eternity for us to share it. A love so pure, that He gave His only Son for us to have the right to it. It was not need for us that brought Him, it was love. It’s a love that also knows we have eternity to share it, and as we understand eternity it’s just the beginning of sharing in a love that will never end. Amazing.” – Byron MacDonald
There is so much truth in these words. We often see ourselves as being self-sufficient and independent. But we have so much need. To many times we don't pay attention to the things that are so evident. We know we have need of Jesus, a Saviour. But our 'knowing' can also prevent us from allowing Him to fill those needs. We often become numb to the fact that we need Him, and our view becomes distorted and leans towards believing that He needs us. He chooses us because He loves us so much. He doesn't need me, but he wants me because He loves me. I know that I feel convicted because there are many times where I feel as though I do not need Him, or at least that is what my actions convey. I do not want a day to go by that I just continue to know in my head that I have need for Jesus, but I want my actions to show that I need Jesus daily and I believe that He really loves me. I do not want to get so wrapped up in my life and the daily "stuff" that I forget to see my need for my precious Jesus. I am so in awe of how He continually loves us even when we do not always accept it. His love knows no boundaries, even I can not be a hindrance to our love. Praise Jesus!! ;)
Lastly, I know that when we begin to get a small grasp of His infinite love we will not be able to hold it in. It must be shared, it must be shown. The Lord is good and all His ways are just. I will praise Him and I will continually seek only Him to fill my needs, through that my husband, my children, and all those around me will be blessed.
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